I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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