I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize