the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
