why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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