There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize