His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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