I love black thongs
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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