My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
