hell yes lets make some ravioli
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
