He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
