No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
