Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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