if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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