It was confusing and full of hummus
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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