i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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