Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
