i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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