i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
