Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
