Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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