what if every blade of grass was a penis?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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