sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
