i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
