I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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