yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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