Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
