so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
