i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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