This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
