They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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