So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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