Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't turn off my feet"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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