Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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