sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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