Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
