Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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