paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
