we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
