And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
