there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
