I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
