HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
