I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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