My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize