i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!