Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.