she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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