handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
