Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.