Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.

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  (919): I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/lixe
  Replies (35) Good night (1712) Bad night (660)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.

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  (616): theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary. http://tfl.nu/ecj4
  Replies (25) Good night (4446) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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  (781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu
  Replies (42) Good night (836) Bad night (4054)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

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  (520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training. http://tfl.nu/cz3b
  Replies (15) Good night (4493) Bad night (1033)
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  (661): View more from California

  God gave him joint rollers for hands

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  (661): God gave him joint rollers for hands http://tfl.nu/1evx
  Replies (10) Good night (3117) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

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  (443): Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is. http://tfl.nu/at5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1759) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.

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  (305): I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/47xz
  Replies (8) Good night (1535) Bad night (2040)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I was always good at matching as a child.

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  (614): she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her. (614): I was always good at matching as a child. http://tfl.nu/vx3e
  Replies (6) Good night (3673) Bad night (610)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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  (587): Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is. http://tfl.nu/4v3e
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (685)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you

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  (512): By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you http://tfl.nu/3p9a
  Replies (10) Good night (866) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.

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  (585): Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future. http://tfl.nu/yjl5
  Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?

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  (516): I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight? http://tfl.nu/oach
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.

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  (570): Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled. http://tfl.nu/weru
  Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

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  (212): 80% sure the drag queens carried her home http://tfl.nu/gmg4
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...

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  (617): A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs... http://tfl.nu/kz0n
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (651)

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