break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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