Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
