You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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