last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
