please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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