I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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