so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
