it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
