How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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