where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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