I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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