I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
