Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
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