would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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