great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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