Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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