she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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