cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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